Who is lincolns wife

Finally, she left the White House and settled down in a hotel in Chicago. Mary had never been well loved in Washington. As First Lady, she had raised eyebrows with her pointed opinions and spending habits. Mary came from wealth and shopped for herself, her family and her new home with abandon. She was given a generous budget for redecorating the White House, but overspent it and fell under scrutiny for her extravagant wardrobe and purchases that were widely mocked, especially as the nation endured the privations of the Civil War.

She might be characterized as a compulsive shopper today. Now that Mary was a widow, the shopkeepers who had been eager to extend her credit came knocking. Desperate, Mary moved to a cheaper hotel as her expenses mounted. Mary Todd Lincoln As a widow, Mary could no longer wear her extravagant ball gowns or other clothing…so why not sell them? Mary and the dressmaker Keckley headed to the city under assumed names with trunks filled with clothing and jewelry.

I shall become Mrs. President, or I am the victim of false prophets, but it will not be as Mrs. But the two did strike up a friendship. Although Mary wanted to be guided by her heart, she also had criteria concerning a potential mate. Previous suitors Stephen Douglas and Edwin Webb were both rising politicians at the time. Elizabeth, although she, too, did not approve of Lincoln, often invited him to their home where he and Mary would sit in the parlor and talk.

Lincoln feared he would not make enough money to provide Mary with the life she was accustomed to and Mary feared giving up control of her life to a husband. Lincoln were not suitable. Edwards and myself believed they were different in nature, and education and raising. They had no feelings alike. They were so different that they could not live happily as man and wife.

Elizabeth, having spent two years trying to create a rift between the two, rejoiced when on January 1, , Mary and Lincoln went their separate ways after an argument. Apparently, Lincoln was to escort Mary to a party and was late in arriving, so she left without him. He finally showed up only to find her flirting with Edwin Webb. That evening, a fuming Lincoln ended their relationship. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on earth.

Whether I shall ever be better I can not tell; I awfully forbode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible; I must die or be better, it appears to me. During his absence, Mary wrote again to Mercy that she was feeling very alone. Many outsiders looked upon the Mary Todd and Abraham Lincoln union with much skepticism. She was short and round, he was tall and lanky.

She had a keen fashion sense, his socks rarely matched. She was educated, he was not. Her family had money, his had none. He was loved by all and she was disliked by many. So what kept these two very opposite individuals very much in love during their marriage?

Was it simply politics? Abraham Lincoln In , around the same time her stepmother was giving birth to her 14th sibling, Mary reconciled her relationship with Lincoln at the urgings of mutual friend Eliza Francis who petitioned the two to at least enjoy a friendship.

Slowly, the tall lanky man and the round young woman rekindled the romance and Lincoln soon proposed. It was then patterns began to emerge in their relationship that would play out almost daily for the rest of their time together.

If Mary felt neglected by her husband, she would flirt with his colleagues to garner his attention. He would respond with indifference and focus his energy on the tasks at hand. Indeed, to outsiders, the only thing the two had in common was a political agenda. On Friday, November 4, , Mary and Lincoln wed at the home of her sister Elizabeth in front of about 30 guests. It was a small, impromptu ceremony that didn't include her father and stepmother among the guests, all of who received only a day's notice of the ceremony.

Even the best man was a last-minute thought, having been chosen by Lincoln the day of the ceremony. What seemed to be the only planned part of the festivities was the plain gold wedding band that was placed on Mary's finger. In it was the inscription Love Is Eternal. Reverend Dresser, an Episcopalian minister, married the two in the simple ceremony that many still believed was an awkward pairing. Even Lincoln must have felt so for he wrote one week later to friend Samuel Marshall: "Nothing new here, except my marrying, which to me, is a matter of profound wonder.

They occupied the same room Mary's sister Francis had shared with her husband after they'd married. Lincoln returned to work right away and Mary found herself with much idle time. The boredom didn't last long for nine months later she gave birth to a son on August 1, and named him Robert Todd after her father.

It would be Mary who would name all the children—a task Lincoln would later joke about. Once he was asked to name a cannon and he amusingly replied, "…I could never name anything. Mary had to name all the children. During that visit, he showered Mary with attention and gifts, as if making up for all the years of suffering she'd endured at Betsey's hands. To Lincoln, he handed over a legal case that later yielded a tidy sum of money.

Her father's generosity paved the way for the Lincolns to purchase a one-story, five room cottage located on one acre of land. Although they now had a wonderful home, both recognized that their standard of living still wasn't what Mary was accustomed. In , Mary gave birth to a second son whom she named Edward. Eddie, who was ill most of the time, kept Mary busy. To all outsiders, the new mother seemed to fall off the face of the earth as she took care of her home and children.

She was a superb and doting parent, often engaging the boys in a variety of activities. Having been criticized so harshly when she was a child, she parented the boys in such a way that outsiders felt she gave them too much freedom. Meanwhile her husband traveled the circuit trying cases and was away from home more times than not. It was during this time, Mary's anxieties and fears seemed to escalate.

She disliked staying alone at night and would often invite guests to spend the night at their home. When Lincoln was at home, he was just as attentive to the children as she was. In fact, he often solely cared for the children while Mary attended a church function or did the marketing. When it came to disciplining the children, neither Mary nor Lincoln seemed to excel. Lincoln confessed he used reason to keep the children in line over "switching.

Mary went on to hire several helpers but usually had a difficult time getting along with them. She was fortunate in employing one faithful helper who described Mary as "taking no sassy talk but if you are good to her, she is good to you and a friend to you.

Mariah, who understood Mary and looked on her with compassion, stayed with her for years. For Mary, Mariah may have reminded her of her beloved Mammy Sally from her childhood. Mary took special care in the cleaning and did the cooking herself; however, her husband was quite the finicky eater.

An apple was usually enough to fill him. Not only was he not much of an eater, but quite often he would forget to come home for dinner to which Mary would send the children to fetch him. Her domestic skills were not lacking and she entertained frequently in their small home. Isaac Arnold, a frequent guest of the Lincolns expressed, "Mrs. Lincoln often entertained small numbers of friends at dinner and somewhat larger numbers at evening parties.

Her table was famed for the excellence of its rare Kentucky dishes and in season was loaded with venison, wild turkeys, prairie chickens and quail and other game. Lincoln, he would later become very critical of her during the White House years. By the mids, Lincoln's law practice became profitable and Mary found her small dinner parties turning into large receptions. Although the Lincolns were growing in popularity, Mary didn't conform to the role that was expected of her and all women during that time.

Instead, she spoke her mind freely, expressed her opinions without caution, and could hold her own when the talk turned to politics. There seemed to be little gray area when it came to Mary: most either liked her or disliked her, there were very few who had no opinion. The money funded the building of a second floor to their quaint home.

Thus four new bedrooms and a back stairway, as well as a double parlor on the first floor, were added. The extra room provided her with areas of the house where she could have quiet, which she relished when she was suffering from a migraine. Although she provided a good home for her children and husband, she sometimes suffered from bouts of melancholy just as her husband did. She wrote to a friend in during a time when her husband was home, "I hope you may never feel as lonely as I sometimes do…".

As Lincoln continued to pursue a political career, Mary carefully groomed and coached her husband. In , he received the Whig nomination for Congress and in August he became one of Illinois' Congressman. And whereas the majority of the congressman left their wives and children at home while they served, Mary and the children journeyed to Washington with Lincoln, which offended most of the male boarders where they'd settled, especially those who knew of Mary Lincoln and disliked her.

When his congressional term was up, he sought the position of Commissioner of the General Land Office but did not win that post-even though Mary went on a letter-writing campaign to get him appointed. Instead, he was offered the post of Governor of Oregon-which he graciously declined. Mary Lincoln was not going to travel to such a barren frontier town with two children in tow.

During the summer of , Mary's father contracted cholera and passed away. More devastating was the death of Eddie on February 1, He died of pulmonary tuberculosis. Mary believed in predestination and was certain fate was against her. She told friend Emile Helm, "What is to be is to be and nothing we can say, or do, or be can divert an inexorable fate, but in spite of knowing this, one feels better even after losing, if one has had a brave, whole-hearted fight to get the better of destiny.

On December 21, , William Wallace Lincoln was born and almost two years later, on April 4, , Thomas Lincoln, named for his paternal grandfather, was born. He earned the moniker "Tadpole" for the strange shape of his head after the difficult birth. The nickname was soon shortened to Tad. Lincoln's political career seemed to stall during this time but it was jumpstarted in when he went up against Mary's former beau Senator Steven Douglas. Lincoln's slogan became: "A house divided against itself cannot stand.

I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free," while Mary campaigned, "[Douglas] is a very little giant" beside "my tall Kentuckian. This time both Lincolns felt the defeat harshly. It wasn't just Lincoln who'd lost the election, she'd lost too. Theirs was a political partnership. To soothe the sting of the loss, Mary turned to spending money on the latest wardrobe fashions. In , year old Robert was leaving the nest for Harvard and the following year Lincoln was being eyed for president.

Twelve years had passed since he'd held a public office and an excited Mary found herself surrounded by the political elite. Whereas most politicians' wives were unassuming, Mary surprised the press by taking an active role in politics.

She freely expressed her opinions, once again taking the public by surprise and offending them. The election came and went and Lincoln was nominated president. It's evident he saw their marriage as a political partnership as well because he rushed home to tell her, "Mary, Mary, we are elected!

She was instrumental in political appointments. Lincoln suffered the embarrassment of Mary's jealous rages and acquiesced in her change of protocol so that on state occasions the President would escort the First Lady only. He -- and his campaign for reelection -- survived a rumor that Mary had become drunk with Russian sailors on one of her trips to New York.

Nevertheless, the First Lady continued to be a campaign liability and a source of stress at a time when Abraham Lincoln did not need further strain and anxiety.

Criticized in the North for being a Southern spy, and censured in the South for betraying "the Cause," Mary Todd Lincoln could not win. Of course, she was, at times, her own worst enemy.

In one instance, she tried to acquire the salary of an employee who had left the White House and whose responsibilities she had assumed, believing she should be compensated for her work. She, and the President as well, were fortunate that her padding of White House expenses to pay off her enormous personal debt remained a secret during Lincoln's reelection campaign of Yet the accomplishments of this chameleon-like First Lady are notable.

She willingly accepted the duties of hostess and fashion leader that had become synonymous with the role of First Lady and further cemented the idea that the White House was a gathering place for intellectuals as well as entertainers. Although Mary refused to support women's suffrage, she backed the establishment of a female nursing corps and helped women acquire employment in the Treasury and War Departments.

Her interest in the abolition of slavery evolved as her friendship with dressmaker Elizabeth Keckley developed, and she became the first hostess to welcome African Americans as guests to the White House. When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, Mary Lincoln grieved doubly as she lost her beloved husband as well as her coveted role. Of the latter, she remarked, "God Questions for Discussion Read the document introduction and transcript and apply your knowledge of American history in order to answer these questions.

Why were some Americans unsympathetic toward the situation faced by the widow of Abraham Lincoln? Research benefits that are provided currently to the spouse of a deceased president.

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